Daniel Klein

Eugene sat behind a solid wood desk, his chair well worn. Hand carved features adorned the wonderful piece of art that one might refer to as a bureau when emphasizing its utility. The soon to be retired middle manager had bought the desk off of his uncle, a renowned wood worker from his hometown. It was an object once responsible for holding all of his important papers above the ground. Work orders, expense sheets, and the dreaded performance reports had all graced the lacquered wood over his, and its, long career. 

He remembered when he was excited to receive things to do. There was a time in which the progress of the firm kept him enthused. Winning a contract was not just an achievement to the shareholders, but to him as well. That time of eagerness ended only a few weeks ago. Working for the company had lost all of its allure the moment he turned in his retirement notice. Eugene asked himself what the point of it all was when he was not to be part of its future.

Looking at the clock was the most entertaining thing he’d done all week. There had been no tasks assigned to him on his final day at all. Not even a nod to work was given to signing off on an expense report. The already dwindling amount of work had now reached its conclusion of null, albeit a day too early. According to his boss, the lack of work to do was a present. It was implied that Eugene should be grateful for the gift, but all he could feel was contempt. Perturbed at the thought of doing nothing, Eugene gave a call to his boss and asked him for just one thing to do before he exited through the door one last time.

Surprisingly, his boss admitted to anticipating the call. His superior told him that, “I have one final job for you. You must choose your successor. I have a handful of candidates that I wish for you to give interviews to. Once you have settled upon your choice give me a call and then we can conclude our relationship once and for all.”

Eugene then called for his assistant through the door. She walked in with much haste, “Yes sir, have you spoken with Mr. Rowland yet?” Eugene was now confused as to why she expected for him to have had conference with the big boss, “you knew?” She answered, “Well I have to know for whom I will work for tomorrow.” Eugene responded, now understanding his stake in the company’s future was to ensure that the next generation would carry on his legacy, “Are the candidates here?” 

“Yes, you have some candidates to choose from. I will send them into your office at your discretion. Please let me know when you have everything ready boss!” replied the assistant with much enthusiasm.

Eugene knew that there was no time like the present and indicated for the first candidate to come on through without any delay. 

The man who stepped through was in his mid 20s by the look of things. Instantly, his exhaustion was apparent to be the kind not fixed by sleep. Further of note was what he wore, a bright red hawaiian shirt and a third eye on his forehead. Eugene was unsure if this was a fashion accessory or whether the implant really did something. “Maybe it glowed in the dark?,” he thought to himself. The man’s left arm was a collection of tightly bound multicolored wires that led to a plastic hand. At least the digits worked well enough when he went to shake Eugene’s hand. Although a different color from the rest of his body, his right arm was fully organic. This man, who now introduced himself as Eden Rowland, gave himself a seat across from Eugene. The manager could only think to himself that this must be how people carried themselves these days.

Eugene began by asking, “Mr. Rowland, let me ask why you think yourself to be qualified for this job?”

“First off, I am no mister. Please just refer to me as Eden. The last name is an unfortunate relic from when land had value. It is no longer applicable to me.”

Unwilling to show his dismay at Eden’s disrespect, the manager responded unfazed,  “My apologies, Eden. Please do explain why you think you would be a good fit here.”

“No one has quite told me what the job was. I just sent in my general resume and someone got back to me and told me to be here now. Whatever you do here I am sure that I would excel at it. My third eye allows me to see the future, and my brain amplifier multiplies my IQ to the level of the smartest man on earth, every fact memorized” Eden spoke with its hands before pausing to take a solid band out of his backpack. 

“I will show you how this works since it is obvious you have never seen anything like this before,” said Eden, now placing the technology laden band over his eyes.

“Ask me a question.”

Eugene responded to the  presumptuous request, now more interested in the technology than an assessment of the man’s character, “What is 6! ?” Instantly, “720, give me something hard,” responded the interviewee with a boast.

Eugene asked, “What does it mean to be human?”

“To be human is a beautifully complex thing, isn’t it? At its core, it’s about experiencing the world through a mix of emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations that are uniquely ours. It’s the ability to laugh at a joke, feel a pang of sadness, or get lost in wonder staring at the stars—things that come from having a conscious mind tangled up with a fragile, beating heart.” 

The increased monotony of the speech was apparent, even though Eden was not lively to begin with. Eugene was not a fan of an answer that lacked all nuance.

Finally the manager voiced his complaint, “that is not a very good answer.”

His reply seemed to be a promise of what his band may very well one day be, “future updates may improve the results to open ended questions.”

The two stared at each other for a good long while, that is if locking eyes were possible through an opaque band. Eventually, Eden took off the brain amplifier and asked whether he got the job.

Refusing to lack professionalism, Eugene responded by saying that he would be hearing from the company later. The answer to the question, however, seemed to not affect Eden Rowland in the slightest.

“Although I suspect it will not be from you, I look forward to hearing back.”

With one more shake between the plastic hand and Eugene, the strange being left the office as quick as he had entered.

Eugene waited a good minute before asking his assistant to send the next candidate into his office. He hoped the next person would be better, more normal. His assistant gave him then some troubling news. “There are no other candidates, Eden Rowland was the only one person your boss deemed eligible for the job.”

“How do you know this and not I?” responded the manager, thinking himself to be of a higher rank than his assistant. “Your time in the sun has long expired, old man,” she then exclaimed on the other side of the wall. She waited a few moments to make her apology seem more genuine. “I am sorry for the rudeness of the comment. From now on, I must now behave with the attitudes of Eden Rowland in mind. Please forgive me, but I can not change.”

“I would fire you if I could,” yelled the manager through the door. He picked up his desk phone and made one last call to his boss.

Eugene did not even wait for a greeting and went straight into tirade, “How could you possibly think that man was qualified for this job? He is rude, strange, and refuses to engage with his humanity. We could instead hire my nephew. He is right out of college, always shown an interest in freight, and he has a good work ethic to him. I could even stay another two weeks and show him the ropes of the company. You would not even have to pay me.”

The executive responded, “That would not work at all. Legally, I would have to pay you. Besides, you know him so therefore he can’t be good. Can’t have anyone thinking that someone at our company did not earn their position. I’m sure you understand.”

“Oh, okay. I think you are right.” 

Eugene left, never to be seen again.